Wasn't My Fault

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There's a letter in my notebook from when I was young
It reads, "I need to go mom, if I don't I'll kill myself"

I wrote this not because she was a bad mom
But because I felt like the worst daughter

I used to pick up razors and drag them along my skin
As if I were painting the Sistine Chapel

I did this not because I liked the feeling
But because I just could not feel

My whole life I would do things not because of others
But because of myself
I attacked and hurt myself thinking it was all my fault

I got raped by five guys when I was 10
I went home and locked it up in my mind not even thinking about it for the next 7 years

I kept quiet, not because I was afraid of them
but because I was ashamed as if it were my fault

That's the thing
"My fault"?
Why did I put these ideas into my head

It wasn't my fault
It wasn't my fault


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